N-o s\u0103 mai iau mezeluri de duzin\u0103
C\u0103-s scumpe, f\u0103r\u0103 aer de te las\u0103:
Cum \u00eemi reduc dramatic din chenzin\u0103,
Am hot\u0103r\u00e2t s\u0103 mi le fac acas\u0103.
De ce s\u0103 cump\u0103r \u0219unc\u0103 injectat\u0103
Cu saramur\u0103, cam un sfert din ea,
C\u00e2nd am re\u021bet\u0103 marc\u0103 garantat\u0103\u2026
\u0218i-o fac u\u0219or \u00een chicineta mea.
Iau un ciolan, baban \u0219i \u00eemplinit,
De preferabil dou\u0103 kilograme,
\u00cel operez de-a lungul c-un cu\u021bit,
Cum ai deschide-o carte de-epigrame.
\u00cel dezosez u\u0219or, c\u00e2t mai complet,
Sco\u021b\u00e2nd f\u00e2\u0219ii de carne, precum micii,
Cu un cu\u021bit, tran\u0219ez felii, \u00eencet,
M\u0103 str\u0103duiesc s\u0103 nu crestez \u0219oricii.
I-am cur\u0103\u021bat \u0219i-i pun acum deoparte
\u00cemp\u0103turi\u021bi extrem de grijuliu,
De ei avem nevoie mai departe
\u0218i \u00eei vom folosi, dar mai t\u00e2rziu.
Pun pe plan\u0219et\u0103 numai carnea macr\u0103
\u0218i o caftesc brutal cu un ciocan
De \u0219ni\u021bele, dar g\u00e2ndul mi-e la soacr\u0103,
Ce m\u0103 p\u00e2nde\u0219te sur\u00e2z\u00e2nd viclean.
Pe verso, \u00eei mai trag \u00eenc-o b\u0103taie,
S\u0103 nu m\u0103 \u00eentreba\u021bi la ce g\u00e2ndesc,
Noroc c\u0103-i zgomot, mare h\u0103rm\u0103laie
\u0218i nu se-aude ce boscorodesc!
Iau carnea \u0219i o pun \u00eentr-un castron
\u0218i o fr\u0103m\u00e2nt cu sare, pas\u0103mite.
Desupra, pun \u0219oricii ca pe tron
\u0218i-n frigider vor sta acoperite
O noapte la r\u0103coare \u0219i apoi,
Le scot \u0219i intim le voi pres\u0103ra
Cu praf uscat \u0219i fin de usturoi,
Cu dafin m\u0103run\u021bit \u0219i cu boia.
Piper mai pun s\u0103 fie captivant,
Dar nu exagerez, ci doar pu\u021bin,
S\u0103 fie \u0219i s\u0103rat dar \u0219i picant,
Ca la final, s\u0103 cear\u0103-un un kil de vin.
Am pus la rece totul \u00eenc-un pic
\u0218i apoi am scos castronul ce-i frapat,
Am a\u0219ezat c\u0103rni\u021ba pe \u0219oric,
Egal \u0219i f\u0103r\u0103 grab\u0103 l-am rulat.
\u00cen folie-i cilindrul ambalat
\u0218i sigilat cu nod marin\u0103resc
De folie am pus \u00eenc\u0103 un strat
\u0218i l-am legat ca mu\u0219chiul tig\u0103nesc.
Va fierbe cam trei ceasuri, \u00eens\u0103 lent,
Cu foc ce arde-n ritmuri de tangou,
Se pune \u00een h\u00e2rtie pergament
\u0218i va dormi \u00een frigider din nou..
A doua zi se taie \u00een felii,
Po\u021bi s\u0103-l serve\u0219ti cu hrean sau cu mu\u0219tar,
Cu ceap\u0103, usturoi sau ce-o mai fi\u2026
Dar musai \u0219i-un pahar de Murfatlar!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
N-o s\u0103 mai iau mezeluri de duzin\u0103C\u0103-s scumpe, f\u0103r\u0103 aer de te las\u0103:Cum \u00eemi reduc dramatic din chenzin\u0103,Am hot\u0103r\u00e2t s\u0103 mi le fac acas\u0103.De ce s\u0103 cump\u0103r \u0219unc\u0103 injectat\u0103Cu saramur\u0103, cam un sfert din ea,C\u00e2nd am re\u021bet\u0103 marc\u0103 garantat\u0103\u2026\u0218i-o fac u\u0219or \u00een chicineta mea.Iau un ciolan, baban \u0219i \u00eemplinit,De preferabil dou\u0103 kilograme,\u00cel operez de-a lungul […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1997,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1996","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-retete-culinare-in-versuri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1996","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1996"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1996\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1998,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1996\/revisions\/1998"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1997"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1996"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1996"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1996"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}