Cum cresc facturile \u00een tromb\u0103. la gaze, ap\u0103 \u0219i curent,
Cu ur\u0103, mi-am jurat \u00een barb\u0103 c\u0103 o s\u0103 fiu independent.
C\u0103 voi produce totul singur, chiar dac\u0103 va dura un an,
\u0218i c\u00e2t tr\u0103iesc pe lumea asta, la stat n-o s\u0103 mai dau un ban.
La \u00eenceput un pix, bloc-notes \u0219i o rulet\u0103 am luat,
Apoi cu frenezie mare m-am apucat de calculat.
Am scos to\u021bi pomii din gr\u0103din\u0103, am renun\u021bat la chio\u0219c, rigole,
F\u0103c\u00e2nd cultur\u0103 intensiv\u0103, exhaustiv\u0103, de fasole.
Apoi luai un tuci, cr\u0103can\u0103, ce au costat mai mult de-o mie,
\u00cen care-mi fac pe-o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103, nu gula\u0219, ci normal, iahnie.
Am cercetat trei luni you-tube-ul, atent \u0219i cu inteligen\u021b\u0103
\u0218i am notat ce alimente \u00ee\u021bi mai provoac\u0103 flatulen\u021b\u0103.
\u00cen dormitor am pus aproape, \u00een st\u00e2nga, dreapta, la picioare,
Eoliene s\u0103 produc\u0103 curent la cea mai mic\u0103 boare,
Montat-am \u0219i exhaustoare s\u0103 trag\u0103 norii de metan,
Pe care s\u0103 \u00eei dirijeze, drept combustibil sub cazan,
Ba chiar o parte la central\u0103 ca \u0219i suport de \u00eenc\u0103lzire\u2026
Curent av\u00e2nd de la elicea ce se \u00eenv\u00e2rte \u00een ne\u0219tire.
Vorbind doar tehnic, treaba merge, dar am se pare un necaz:
Sunt suferind de alergie \u0219i la fasole \u0219i la gaz,
Deci trebuie s\u0103 port o masc\u0103, dar cu probleme la timpane,
M\u0103 bucur c\u0103 deocamdat\u0103 nu-mi trebuie \u0219i antifoane.
Dup\u0103 o lun\u0103 de testare, a\u0219 zice foarte reu\u0219it\u0103,
A rezultat cum c\u0103 recolta de boabe trebuie m\u0103rit\u0103,
A\u0219a c\u0103 am luat trei capre ce m\u00e2nc\u0103 frunze \u0219i melas\u0103,
\u00cen plus, asigur\u0103 \u0219i carnea \u0219i cantit\u0103\u021bi de biomas\u0103,
S\u0103-ngra\u0219 p\u0103m\u00e2ntul ce acuma, chiar dac\u0103 n-am pensie mare,
\u00cemi d\u0103 curent, \u00eemi d\u0103 c\u0103ldur\u0103, ba chiar mai mult \u0219i de m\u00e2ncare.
Dar cum a\u0219 vrea s\u0103 prind castana \u0219i s\u0103 ajungem bog\u0103ta\u0219i,
Aduc la iarn\u0103 o duzin\u0103 din neamurile de la Ia\u0219i
\u0218i dup-o cur\u0103 de iahnie, c\u00e2nd se porne\u0219te canonada,
Vor curge banii \u00een prostie, c\u0103ci gaz vom da la toat\u0103 strada!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Cum cresc facturile \u00een tromb\u0103. la gaze, ap\u0103 \u0219i curent,Cu ur\u0103, mi-am jurat \u00een barb\u0103 c\u0103 o s\u0103 fiu independent.C\u0103 voi produce totul singur, chiar dac\u0103 va dura un an,\u0218i c\u00e2t tr\u0103iesc pe lumea asta, la stat n-o s\u0103 mai dau un ban.La \u00eenceput un pix, bloc-notes \u0219i o rulet\u0103 am luat,Apoi cu frenezie mare […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5115,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5114","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poezii-satirice"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5114","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5114"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5114\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5116,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5114\/revisions\/5116"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5115"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5114"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5114"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5114"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}