Eram adolescent precoce, cu urme grave de acnee,
Cu tulbur\u0103ri frecvente-n voce \u0219i g\u00e2ndul numai la femeie,
Pe Feisbuc afi\u0219am ca poz\u0103, un Arnold c-un topor pe um\u0103r,
\u0218i ag\u0103\u021bam pe \u00eenserate femei frumoase f\u0103r\u0103 num\u0103r.
Nu le interesa, se pare, c\u0103 nu scriam deloc corect,
C\u00e2t timp aveam exces de fibr\u0103 \u0219i-un tatuaj imens pe piept,
Le ridicam pe Himalaya, le scufundam \u00een Nil apoi,
Aveam trei yachturi \u00een Maldive iar \u00een Monaco Euroi.
Dup\u0103 un timp de tatonare, persever\u00e2nd din fent\u0103-n fent\u0103,
Mi s-a lipit fatal de suflet, o doamn\u0103 foarte insistent\u0103,
Ce m\u0103 dorea cu disperare \u0219i \u00eemi spunea c\u0103-s cel mai cel,
Frumoas\u0103, foarte agresiv\u0103, cu trup perfect de top model.
Mi-a spus c\u0103 este singuric\u0103, c\u0103 vrea b\u0103rbat adev\u0103rat,
Discret viril \u0219i disponibil s\u0103 vin\u0103 singur pe-nserat.
Nu-i trebuie nici flori, inele, ce sunt \u00een dragoste un lest,
Dar are-o singur\u0103 dorin\u021b\u0103, s\u0103 m\u0103 supun\u0103 la un test
Ce o s\u0103 \u021bin\u0103 doar o or\u0103, s\u0103 se conving\u0103, realmente,
De o s\u0103 \u00eei rezist cu brio, \u00een nop\u021bile incandescente.
Exact la ziua convenit\u0103, m-am prezentat la casa ei,
C\u00e2t o Bastilie de mare, av\u00e2nd \u00een fa\u021b\u0103 ni\u0219te tei.
Am ap\u0103sat pe sonerie \u0219i u\u0219a s-a deschis \u00eencet,
(Avea un interfon de fi\u021be dotat c-un electromagnet).
Doi Dobermani cu limba scoas\u0103 st\u0103teau \u00eentr-o sufragerie,
Era \u0219i un birou acolo, pe el, o coal\u0103 de h\u00e2rtie.
O voce cam impersonal\u0103 a ordonat s\u0103 iau un loc,
\u0218i s\u0103 bifez pe testul gril\u0103 r\u0103spunsurile cu un toc,
S\u0103 nu \u00eencerc s-o iau la fug\u0103 c\u0103ci dogii s-enerveaz\u0103 tare,
\u0218i sunt capabili chiar s\u0103 mu\u0219te, c\u00e2nd simt \u00een jurul lor mi\u0219care.
Mi s-a cam pleo\u0219tit av\u00e2ntul, pl\u00e2ngeam amar ca un copil,
Privind la testul de pe mas\u0103 cam lung, extrem de dificil,
Mai repede trecea c\u0103mila, matur\u0103, prin gaura cheii,
St\u0103team ca rufele pe s\u00e2rm\u0103 s\u0103 nu provoc cumva c\u0103\u021beii,
Iar dup\u0103 ce-a trecut o or\u0103, s-a r\u0103sucit o cheie-n broasc\u0103
\u0218i-a ap\u0103rut o doamn\u0103 gras\u0103 ce pe obraz purta o masc\u0103.
Lu\u0103 provocatoare foaia, se a\u0219ez\u0103, o puse-n poal\u0103,
\u0218i-a observat, f\u0103r\u0103 surpriz\u0103, c\u0103 e pe de-a \u00eentregul goal\u0103.
S-a ridicat f\u0103r\u0103 o vorb\u0103 \u0219i m-a legat de candelabru,
M\u0103 \u021bintuia cu o privire ce anun\u021ba ceva macabru.
\u0218i-a desf\u0103cut \u00eencet capotul \u0219i a luat un bici \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103\u2026
Apoi \u0219i-a lep\u0103dat \u0219i masca\u2026Era chiar profa de rom\u00e2n\u0103!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Eram adolescent precoce, cu urme grave de acnee,Cu tulbur\u0103ri frecvente-n voce \u0219i g\u00e2ndul numai la femeie,Pe Feisbuc afi\u0219am ca poz\u0103, un Arnold c-un topor pe um\u0103r,\u0218i ag\u0103\u021bam pe \u00eenserate femei frumoase f\u0103r\u0103 num\u0103r.Nu le interesa, se pare, c\u0103 nu scriam deloc corect,C\u00e2t timp aveam exces de fibr\u0103 \u0219i-un tatuaj imens pe piept,Le ridicam pe Himalaya, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5612,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5611","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poezii-satirice"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5611","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5611"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5611\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5613,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5611\/revisions\/5613"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5612"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5611"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5611"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidvalentin.ro\/opere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5611"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}